Barack Obama is Your New Magazine Cover

2008 has come and gone, and we all agree that Barack Obama was one of, if not the, most important people of the year. If you don't agree, too bad, because the media has decided for you, and is going to keep reminding you, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It's difficult to imagine in the history of photographs or print media that anyone has ever been on nearly as many magazine covers. It's been (as of posting) two months since he won his historic election, but magazine editors seem to still think he's worth putting up there. Yeah, he's inspiring, photogenic, powerful, life-affirming, intelligent, interesting, etc. but SERIOUSLY! Is news slow? It's doubtful that Ebony Magazine will EVER be able to publish an issue without him on the cover.

However, not all covers of the man who proved that all men are created equal were created equal. Some are really good. Some are unnecessary. Some are just weird. We here at "Barack Obama is Your New Magazine Cover" intend to keep you updated on how everyone's favorite president-elect of the United States of America is doing on those newsstands, and will give you opinions on how good each picture is. Enjoy.

RATINGS SYSTEM:

Nobama
"That One"
The Hopemonger
Change We Can Believe In!
HOPE
Yes We Can!
"The One"
President
January 21
I would be completely remiss if I did not show you this.
January 20
Oh man New Yorker. You are the epitome of clever. You see, the New Yorker was way too cool to actually put Obama on the cover. Anyone can do that (as I have made a point of proving to you). But the New Yorker is way too high-brow for that. Rather than putting everyone’s favorite PEOTUS on the cover, they assume that all of their readers are smart enough to figure out who they’re talking about. Are you smart enough? What do the letter “O” and the Lincoln Memorial have in common? Who is going to the White House soon? Man New Yorker, you’re so cool. Sarcasm aside, these are some pretty nice pictures. Rating: Yes We Can! (6/8)

Oh man New Yorker. You are the epitome of clever.

You see, the New Yorker was way too cool to actually put Obama on the cover. Anyone can do that (as I have made a point of proving to you). But the New Yorker is way too high-brow for that. Rather than putting everyone’s favorite PEOTUS on the cover, they assume that all of their readers are smart enough to figure out who they’re talking about.

Are you smart enough?

What do the letter “O” and the Lincoln Memorial have in common?

Who is going to the White House soon?

Man New Yorker, you’re so cool.

Sarcasm aside, these are some pretty nice pictures.

Rating: Yes We Can! (6/8)

January 11
Oh man. It’s a blast from the past! This may just be the FIRST Obama magazine cover EVER! I would first like to point out that Obama is not purple. Is that what this cover is implying? Clearly Newsweek should get some better fact checkers. It’s odd that they would mistake the color of Obama, since his coloration gets mentioned a lot. I have yet to see anyone refer to him as the first purple president… (Green I have heard) Maybe they’re implying that Obama sees everything as purple. That would be kinda weird. Why has no other profile on Obama mentioned this? Maybe it’s just an unrelated article. Within the banner headline. Yeah. Maybe that happens. Anyway, that is possibly the biggest smile I have ever seen. Clearly no one had told him that he was going to take over the hardest job in the world when the country was faced with one of the most major recessions in US history. The picture isn’t the most creative ever, but to be fair, Newsweek had no idea some random blogger would ever be judging them on it. Also, it isn’t really fair to diss their creativity. Every Obamagazine  is basically ripping off on this cover, so one could argue that they were the most creative. Rating: President (8/8)

Oh man. It’s a blast from the past!

This may just be the FIRST Obama magazine cover EVER!

I would first like to point out that Obama is not purple. Is that what this cover is implying? Clearly Newsweek should get some better fact checkers. It’s odd that they would mistake the color of Obama, since his coloration gets mentioned a lot. I have yet to see anyone refer to him as the first purple president… (Green I have heard)

Maybe they’re implying that Obama sees everything as purple. That would be kinda weird. Why has no other profile on Obama mentioned this?

Maybe it’s just an unrelated article. Within the banner headline. Yeah. Maybe that happens.

Anyway, that is possibly the biggest smile I have ever seen. Clearly no one had told him that he was going to take over the hardest job in the world when the country was faced with one of the most major recessions in US history.

The picture isn’t the most creative ever, but to be fair, Newsweek had no idea some random blogger would ever be judging them on it. Also, it isn’t really fair to diss their creativity. Every Obamagazine  is basically ripping off on this cover, so one could argue that they were the most creative.

Rating: President (8/8)

January 9
Dear Rolling Stone, YOU ARE A MUSIC MAGAZINE! WHY IS OBAMA ON YOUR MAGAZINE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE? These are actually pretty good pictures. I love the white flames behind him in the one on the left. It’s like he’s a messiah, or even some sort of new hope (has anyone been calling him either of those things). However, my utter lack of respect for Rolling Stone and its pretense to be taken seriously just shoots them straight down in ratings. Rating: Nobama (1/8)

Dear Rolling Stone,

YOU ARE A MUSIC MAGAZINE! WHY IS OBAMA ON YOUR MAGAZINE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE?

These are actually pretty good pictures. I love the white flames behind him in the one on the left. It’s like he’s a messiah, or even some sort of new hope (has anyone been calling him either of those things). However, my utter lack of respect for Rolling Stone and its pretense to be taken seriously just shoots them straight down in ratings.

Rating: Nobama (1/8)

+
So apparently Barack Obama is the world. In 2009 anyway. He kinda looks like a lizard here. And he’s eyeing all those pictures next to him pretty seriously. He’s totally thinking “Pff. Those world problems aren’t so tough. I’ll fight them with my neck wrinkles!” And he will. That’s change we can believe in (although McCain was pretty good on the wrinkle front too). Rating: Change We Can Believe In (4/8) P.S. Angela Merkel looks suspicious. Maybe she’s worried that Obama will give backrubs like W did.

So apparently Barack Obama is the world. In 2009 anyway.

He kinda looks like a lizard here. And he’s eyeing all those pictures next to him pretty seriously. He’s totally thinking “Pff. Those world problems aren’t so tough. I’ll fight them with my neck wrinkles!”

And he will. That’s change we can believe in (although McCain was pretty good on the wrinkle front too).

Rating: Change We Can Believe In (4/8)

P.S. Angela Merkel looks suspicious. Maybe she’s worried that Obama will give backrubs like W did.

+
There he is! Our man is all smiles here. Lots of people in this picture, but he still looks best. Kudos for getting on to the cover of a magazine that he has actually no good reason to be on. Rating: “The One” (7/8) P.S. Check it out. Tina Fey managed to be on this cover TWICE. (Once is as Sarah Palin and obscured by the little blue circle I drew.) So did Christian Bale (once as Batman). Was 2008 boring enough that EW ran out of people to celebrate and had to show repeats to fill up space?

There he is!

Our man is all smiles here.

Lots of people in this picture, but he still looks best. Kudos for getting on to the cover of a magazine that he has actually no good reason to be on.

Rating: “The One” (7/8)

P.S. Check it out. Tina Fey managed to be on this cover TWICE. (Once is as Sarah Palin and obscured by the little blue circle I drew.) So did Christian Bale (once as Batman). Was 2008 boring enough that EW ran out of people to celebrate and had to show repeats to fill up space?

+
Ebony shocked the world by naming its first ever person of the year. They must have been worried that people wouldn’t realize that Obama is an important person for the black community. They essentially just created a news story in their magazine: “Barack Obama’s Election is the Biggest Deal That Ebony Has Ever Reported On”. What are they gonna do next year? Will Barack be person again? Who will top him in the year he solves the financial crisis, brings the troops home, provides universal healthcare, develops free energy out of magic, and makes Iran our best buddies (not to mention curing cancer)? Will they not have it? Did they create this award just so one year they could celebrate Barack? The picture isn’t especially interesting. I like the hands in pocket thing though. Rating: The Hopemonger (3/8)

Ebony shocked the world by naming its first ever person of the year. They must have been worried that people wouldn’t realize that Obama is an important person for the black community. They essentially just created a news story in their magazine: “Barack Obama’s Election is the Biggest Deal That Ebony Has Ever Reported On”. What are they gonna do next year? Will Barack be person again? Who will top him in the year he solves the financial crisis, brings the troops home, provides universal healthcare, develops free energy out of magic, and makes Iran our best buddies (not to mention curing cancer)? Will they not have it? Did they create this award just so one year they could celebrate Barack?

The picture isn’t especially interesting. I like the hands in pocket thing though.

Rating: The Hopemonger (3/8)

January 8
We’ve all seen variations on Shepard Fairey’s picture before. I still like it, with the funky colors and such obscuring the elephant in the room (he’s black!). The little “Person of the Year” banner is pretty nice. Classy. For some reason, his mouth is open in that weird little way. It sorta looks like he’ s saying, “You’re shitting me, right?” Maybe there’s something weird going on on the ceiling, because he’s looking up and to the right with intent. Loses points for originality, but good nevertheless in its elegant simplicity. Rating: Change We Can Believe In (4/8)

We’ve all seen variations on Shepard Fairey’s picture before. I still like it, with the funky colors and such obscuring the elephant in the room (he’s black!). The little “Person of the Year” banner is pretty nice. Classy. For some reason, his mouth is open in that weird little way. It sorta looks like he’ s saying, “You’re shitting me, right?” Maybe there’s something weird going on on the ceiling, because he’s looking up and to the right with intent.

Loses points for originality, but good nevertheless in its elegant simplicity.

Rating: Change We Can Believe In (4/8)